"I understand well enough how, in reading this passage, a reasonable doubt may well arise in your minds. You may ask how it is possible that things should be so, in view of the fact that, at the time of the flood, everybody perished except Noah and seven persons who were with him in the ark; in which number the Hurtaly [a giant] above mentioned is not included. The point is, undoubtedly, well taken, and quite obvious; but my answer shall satisfy you, or else my brain is badly calked. Seeing that I was not there at the time, and so am not in a position to give you an eye-witness account, I will cite for you the authority of the Masorites, those well hung lads and fine Jewish bagpipers, who assert that, in reality, the said Hurtaly was not in Noah's ark at all. He had not been able to get in, for he was too big; instead he sat a-straddle of it, one leg this way and one leg that way, like little children on their wooden hobbyhorses, or like the big bull's-horn-blower of Berne who was killed at the battle of Marignano, and who had for a mount a huge rock-throwing cannon which is a beast with a jolly nice ambling gait, I may tell you, and one with which no one could find any fault."
Noah had a giant, Hurtaly that sat astride his ark: and not just any giant, but the father of Nimrod who was father of Goliath, etc. Masorites were intent Jewish scribes of the 5-10 CE who worked to fix grammar, pronunciation and even cantillation standards for the Jewish canon. But attribution to them concerning Hurtaly riding astride Noah's ark seems ridiculously unfounded, and a clear Rabelaisian invention.
On the other hand, the battle of Marignano was something that at least happened in our yarn-spinner's lifespan. There, in mid September 1515, near modern-day Melegnano, Italy the Old Swiss Confederate troops on service to the Emperor were defeated by the French forces of King Francis I. The Swiss previously had taken Milan two years before. This time, 21 year old Francis brought a cannon and some very skilled German landesknechts, as well as promises of troops from Venice. Within a few weeks, Francis sat in the throne in Milan and Ludovico Sforza's son, Maximilian was sent to France. But, for many it was the cannon that was remembered as siezing the day that time: that big instrument of terror that Rabelais says his bullhorn blower sat astride.
Both of these examples show how Rabelais plays his game. He mentions authorities or notable events, famous personages, fine-sounding words and phrases and then, with attention peaked, tells you another convolution of balderdash. Of course, he goes on!
"In this manner, I swear to God, Hurtaly saved that ark from shipwreck, for he would give it a shove with his legs and turn it whichever way he chose with his foot, as one does the helm of a ship. Those that were inside sent him up plenty of victuals through the chimney, being grateful for the good turn he was doing them, and sometimes they would converse together as Icaromenippus did with Jupiter, according to Lucian's report.
Do you think you have all this through your noodles? Drink up then, a good stiff drink without a chaser, for if you don't believe it, neither do I, said she."Never mind that sitting astride even a rowboat or canoe, the smallest of water-born vessels, and using one's feet and legs to help steer, or 'kicking the helm' as he slyly injects, are both terrible ways to actually steer a boat. But to assert that a giant could do this, fed up through the chimney, conversing like Icaromenippus listened to prayers sent to Zeus, Rabelais has drawn us into a very strange scene.
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from pp 232-34: Samuel Putnam: Portable Rabelais: Viking Portable Library: Second Printing: The Colonial Press Inc. USA, 1955
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